Fifteen

This past week, I was so very blessed to attend Worldview Academy. If you haven't heard of it, it is a Christian camp that focuses on teaching leadership, apologetics, different religions and worldviews. They bring in top notch speakers and give you hardcore lectures throughout the week.

On the first day, the camp director told us that if we didn't have the best week of our lives, we could find him on the last day and receive a full refund. At first I was thinking "wow, that's a pretty high-and-mighty statement!" but as the week went on, I realized that he knew what he was talking about. It was literally the best week of my life.

One amazing thing about Worldview Academy, is that they teach you about evangelism, and then in the middle of the week send you out to actually practice it. So on Wednesday, they handed us all these tracts, spent an hour or so talking about how to use them, prayed, and then headed to the campus of Missouri State University in Springfield to tell people about Jesus. I have to admit, I thought I was going to be sick beforehand. I was so scared about approaching people and trying to sputter out the words that needed to be said.

We arrived at the campus, huddled in a group and said one last prayer for strength and clear minds before our director sent us off. I was still really nervous, but as we started walking, I was receiving more and more peace.

My group and I approached maybe 6 people, got the questions out, told them that Jesus had died for their sins, and handed them the tracts. It was going pretty well, but I was getting discouraged. I felt like we weren't really reaching the people we talked to, that we were just reading scripts and checking boxes.

Pretty soon, the 45 minutes that we had were up, and we headed back to camp to debrief.
People started talking about awesome conversations they had had with people, and one group had even succeeded in leading a man to Christ! You would think I would have been overjoyed, but I was still discouraged. The feelings of inadequacy were stronger now, and I started believing the lies that were telling me I hadn't done my job.

But then, yesterday as I was sharing this with some of my family members, this song came to my mind.

If it takes fifteen times
To hear about Jesus
For someone to believe
Wherever I stand in line
I've got to make a difference
In case it comes down to me
'Cause, I may be the third, may be the seventh
There may be years in between
But what if I'm fifteen

Man. I felt amazing relief after I realized that it's really not up to me. I am here to plant the seeds, whether I am the third or the seventh to plant them, I don't know. That's up to the Lord. But what if I'm fifteen?

What if you're fifteen?

{Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. - Galatians 6:9}

Yesterday, Today, Forever

God never ceases to reveal new things to us. I find that rather amazing. It's as if we, small little Christians, read a section in the Bible and instantly come to the conclusion that we know everything there is to know about our Creator. I can just hear God giving a great big "hah!".

For quite a while now, He's been showing me small bits of His unfathomable power. A new angle at which to gaze into His glory. This is what He has been revealing:

He is the same God that visited Adam and Eve in the garden. 

He is the same God that comforted David in all his ups and downs.

He is the same God that kept Noah and his family, along with the animals all safe.

He is the same God who told Hosea to return to his wife over and over. 

He is the same God who turned the evil, Christian slaying Saul into the man that spread the Word to thousands.

He is the exact same God that rose Jesus on the 3rd day. FROM THE DEAD (that still blows my mind). 

And that same God is working in me.

 It takes my breath away. Why do I worry? Why do I fear? Why do I sit and ponder upon the things of the world when the power of Christ is in me?! ME the girl who lies. ME the girl who in anger lashes out. ME the girl who compares herself to other people, failing to trust the power of God's work inside of her very being! 

I will never understand.
But thank you, Father. Thank you for being the same God.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." -Hebrews 13:8

When I rise

"In the morning

when I rise,
In the morning
when I rise,
In the morning
when I rise,
give me Jesus. 




Give me Jesus,
give me Jesus.
You can have all this world
 Just give me Jesus."

____________________________________
Mornings are such a struggle for me. I hate waking up. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE morning time. I love them in the summer when the air is cool just as the sun peaks over the hills. I love hearing the birds singing, and smelling the freshness of the new day. It makes me so happy.

But waking up is another story. I don't like to say that I'm not a morning person, because like I just said, I love mornings. It's just the whole part about getting out of my warm bed, realizing all of the tasks that need to be done, and the fact that I can't go back to sleep.

I love sleep.

My usual morning routine goes something like this:
*wake up
*wake up again
*lay in bed until my mom insists that I actually get out of my room
*drink coffee and scroll through my ipod, still half asleep
*possibly take a little nap before my second cup of coffee
*repeat all steps

A little exaggerated? Maybe. But that's pretty much how it goes. I'm pretty pathetic when it comes to motivation.

Lately however, God has been laying something on my heart. Every day brings a new trial. Every day, I must make decisions. For these trials and decisions, I must be prepared. He has shown me, that the only way to prepare myself, is to start the day with Him. I can easily wake up with a negative spirit. It's not hard to find something to grumble about (like having to wake up for example). But when I start my day in the Word, just me and Jesus, and I make an effort to fill myself up with Him, it leaves no room for a negative spirit. I am instantly refreshed and supplied with a new joy and peace in my heart, and I am ready for the tasks, trials, and decisions I face with the new day.


"In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." {Psalm 5:3}

O my soul

Lately I feel like I take God for granted. Like I don't worship Him like He deserves. Because in reality, He deserves my all, my every waking moment, my every breath.

God reminds me through the words of David just how much I really need to praise him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.  

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.  

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. 

He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel: 

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 

He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. 

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. 

But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children-- with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts. 

The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all. 

Praise the Lord, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. 

Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will. 

Praise the Lord, all his works everywhere in his dominion. 

Praise the Lord, O my soul.

{Psalm 103}

I'm Watching You

I found this post that I had shared in another blog I used to have a while ago. One of those embarrassing, middle school, pre-facebook "share my every day's activities" blogs. Anyway. This also is from an article in the Sisterhood Magazine. (Again, I highly recommend checking it out)

It doesn't matter your age, everyone has someone else that looks up to them. This subject is so important right now. It's not the shortest article, but God really laid this on my heart to share with you all. We all need to be open to the things that the younger generation are struggling with.

Hi. I'm Megan.
   I'm growing like crazy, and the changes in my body totally make me self-conscious.
   I love to sleep.
   I'm battling mood swings that can frighten a bear out of hibernation, and I often express myself through outbursts of anger. But I'm also terrified-and to cover that up-I pretend I'm much stronger than I am.
   I'm only 11. And this is where you come in! I know your older than me, and I want you to know that I need you. It seems like I crave encouragement, support and love-the unconditional kind. So when I try to hang around you, its' because I'm watching you. See, I know you remember what it's like to be 11. And because you're turning out OK, I figure I can learn by your actions.
   My friends are really important to me. So is my freedom. I get lost in my day-sometimes I can't tell the difference between 5 minutes or 50 minutes. I daydream a lot too.
   I like to sew, paint and write in my journal. My little brothers drive me mad, but I love them like crazy. I'm interested in spiritual things, but a lot of what happens at church and what I read in my Bible, doesn't make sense to me...at least not yet.
   You remember this stuff, right? You were here. So you also know that I am a sponge! I soak in everything I see and hear, especially what I notice in teenage girls-girls just like you. Again,  I'm watching you.
   So I want you to know how powerful your life is! Have you ever thought about the opportunity you have to shape the life of young girls like me? It's crazy-huge! the way you choose to live your life is most likely the way my friends and I will choose to live our lives...so please...choose wisely.
   A while ago my dad asked me to make a list of the characteristics I think are important in being a role model. I think he was hoping I might find someone your age who could help me to become who God wants me to be. I think he also wanted me to know what kind of a person I'll need to be to shape the lives of younger girls when I'm your age. Anyway, here's what I came up with
   I want to be a teen girl who...

• has a positive self-image. I hope I don't look to the world for my worth, but instead remember that I'm a child of God and created in His image.

• respects authority. I hope I'll be someone who chooses to allow the people who are there to guide me (like my parents, teachers and coaches) to actually guide me.

• serves others first. I want to be a person who leads with love. I don't want love to be secondary in my life. I want it to be the first thing that comes out of me.

• is trustworthy. I want people to know they can believe in me because I fulfill my promises, keep secrets and am completely honest. 

• is always teachable. I hope I'm a person who never thinks I know everything but can learn from everyone-even people who are younger than me or people I don't really know very well.

• is committed to social causes. I hope that I'm a person who actively words to right the wrongs in the world.

• admits when I'm wrong. I want to be the kind of person who can admit when I've made a mistake or that I'm wrong when I am-and asks for forgiveness.

• is truthful. I pray that I'm always truthful, because lies are damaging and can destroy friendships. 

• is committed to living green. I want to increase my passion for this world to become a healthier place. As a future mentor or role model to others, I want to be a person who cares about all of God's creation.

• seeks holiness. I want to please God with my life, and I hope I'm a person who values love and purity.

• seeks peace. I want to be a person who tries to make peace and finds ways to bring people together by showing their similarities instead of their opposing views and different opinions.

• is a role model and has a role model. I want to always have someone to look up to. I think anyone who wants to be a role model should have a role model from whom to learn, grow and be shaped.

 My Plea:
I don't know how you see yourself, but maybe the list of traits above will help you evaluate your life. Remember, I (and other girls just like me) am watching you. We all want to be just like you when we get older. I hope you'll show us how to live in the right way, so we can be powerful role models for others someday. 

I hope this has opened your eyes, as it did mine, to what we should act like not only around those younger than us, but around everyone. Please share this, we need to be the generation that seeks God's wisdom in all that we do, in all that we say. We need to be the ones to help those younger than us, so that when they are in our shoes, they'll know what to do.
Even if you don't know many younger than you right now, you can do so much even by lifting them up in prayer, as well as your peers, that they would rise up and be the children of God that He asks us to be.

Close My Eyes

Like a rider covers his horse's eyes

Leading it through the flames

You cover mine and hold my hand

You say,

"Walk this way

don't look

just follow Me."

When I am past the flames

You uncover my eyes

and reveal Your splendor

I hear you say:

"Don't look back

I've already brought you

through the past

only look at what I'm giving you

in this moment.

Look at the sky

drink it's peacefulness.

Hear the wind

embrace its coolness.

Now, daughter,

look at Me

and rest

In My presence."

I wrote that this morning. I've been having one of those weeks where everything seems to frighten me. I look around and I feel like my world is caving in. Of course it's not, but you know how emotions can cloud over and take captive of your mind.

I'm sure we've all seen those movies where a barn, or stable catches on fire. The animals inside are going crazy and all the stable hands are rushing to get things out. The fire is growing bigger by the second and the air is tense. The stable hand comes to the horse and holds his hands over it's eyes, then proceeds to lead it out. You now notice that the horse is somewhat calm. Why? Because it can't see what is going on around it, and therefore doesn't panic. The horse doesn't freak out because he can't see where it's going. It just follows it's leader's pull of the rope. 

Then I realized, that sometimes, I need my Leader to close my eyes. I need him to grab my hand and throw his arms over my face to keep me from seeing. I'm not saying that God will blind us from what goes on in the world. But there comes a time when we need to shut off our vision, and just let our Father lead the way. Don't be afraid to be the horse. Instead of searching for your own way out of the fire, ask God to cover you and then put all of your trust in Him. And after he has led you through the fire, do not look back. Only look forward into His eyes, into His freeing love, into His beautiful splendor, and rest in His presence.

"I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths." 

           Proverbs 4:11

Beauty Unfading

Beauty unfading. What does it mean? Do you think of those gorgeous girls that appear everywhere…perfectly smooth skin, bold eyes, a million dollar smile and hips that attract eyes when they float down the sidewalk?

  I remember reading a verse in 1 Peter that said

“Your inner beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

At first, I really didn’t like reading it. In fact, people would share it with me, and inside I would get offended. I remember thinking “what? So for me to have worth in God’s sight I can’t look good? What kind of a ‘loving God’ is that?!”

  Okay, I’m going to go off on a rabbit trail here. (If you plan on reading many of my posts, you should get used to it) I’m a teen girl. I like clothes. I like looking good. I mean, we’re talking about the girl that scans through store sites to see what I can buy next…and then look through all of my friends/friends of friends facebook pictures to see if its “in” or not. I. Love. Clothes. And hair? Don’t get me started. I can easily spend 2 hours trying out hairstyles, just to take a million pictures that no one will ever see. I. Love. Hair.

So. Now that you get the picture of how I am, can you imagine me reading that? I kind of freaked out. But after a loooonnnggg time of reading it over and over and different people giving me their own personal opinion of it, I started to understand the point.

  Let’s dig into the verse a little. The first part says “your inner beauty..”

  “ooohh” you say. “one of those ‘your soul’ verses huh?” well. In a way, yes. And in a way, no. So what is inner beauty you say? It is a willing heart that is ready for God to mold and change constantly. It is a willing spirit ready for whatever task  The writer is saying this: Don’t spend tons and tons of time looking good, just for others approval. Other people’s opinions won’t last, but God will. Clothe yourself with the things that will last in God’s sight, like purity, self control, gentleness, love for the people who don’t love you..those kinds of clothes are what’s important.

  It’s easy for us girls to get caught up in the glamour, clothes, hair, makeup and so on and so forth. But when it boils down to it..is that what will satisfy you for the rest of your life? Is your outer beauty what will save you when you’re in a rut? If you said yes, then please, hear this truth. You are loved more than you will ever know. By someone who died to know you. He doesn’t love you for your appearance, whether or not your having a good hair day..or if what you’re wearing is “in” or not. He loves you because you are you, and that is beautiful. 

  Christ wants our all..not our sometimes. Decide to give Him your everything, and trust Him enough to set aside your appearance worries. When you do..it becomes a beauty that is literally unfading.